The No Longer Secret Origin of the Caped Avenger
by Nightw2
Summary: The real-life reawakening of Garfield's once-imaginary super-hero alter-ego. Rated PG-13 for intense action


Note: Since Garfield, Superman, Green Lantern and Darkwing Duck are all copyrighted by different parties, I'm writing this short story with absolutely NO profit motive.  
********************************************************************************************************************************  
  
The story opens at Garfield's house late at night, when the 23-year-old (that's IS 23 HUMAN years old by the way) feline is trying to sleep. As he is snoring away, a VERY loud crash occurs in the back yard. In fact, the crash is SO loud that it wakes Garfield out of his sound sleep. Somewhat peeved at being abruptly woken up, Garfield decides to investigate. As the fat orange cat slowly approaches the source of the noise, which happens to be a rather easy-to-spot downed spacecraft, Odie comes behind Garfield and starts barking loudly enough to draw the attention of the craft's single occupant who uses telepathic power to draw the cat and dog closer to the ship.  
  
Cautiously entering the ship, Garfield and Odie see a ten-foot, medium-purple-skinned, four-eyed space bear spawled out on the ground. Using his telepathy, the space bear explains that he is a dying space cop whose ship was shot down while in pusuit of an unknown criminal. This cop also mentions that the unknown criminal was also behind the destruction of one of the planets in his precinct; a world called Catnipton. The dying space cop further explains that he WAS able to save a device some of that space-criminal's henchmen stole just PRIOR to Catnipton's destruction; one that would alter the physiology of the user in such a way as to give the user super-powers in virtually any environment.  
  
Using every bit of his telepathic power, the space-police-bear persuades Garfield to step in the machine and become super-charged by the device's rays. Within minutes, Garfield emerges from the machine literally de-aged twenty human years and infused with so much energy as to completely override his previous laziness. His biting sarcasm and overpowering passion for Italian food, however, still remain and his already fairly large ego is expanded to a size that would make Darkwing Duck look modest by comparasion. Though the space-bear is literally reduced to dust by the time Garfield emerges from the machine, Odie sniffs around the dust enough to suck it up and the part of that space-cop's essence still remaining in the dust is potent enough to infuse Odie with increased intelligence and limited telepathic powers of his own.  
**********************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Within an hour, Garfield discovers that he now has an undetermined measure of super-strength as well as immensely enhanced reflexes and senses, the abilities to fly at speeds of literally thousands of miles per second and emit very high-powered optic laser blasts at will plus enough invulnerability to withstand any physical assault short of and including a 64-megaton nuclear blast at ground zero. With these powers, Garfield vows to fight a never-ending battle for truth, justice, beautiful female cats, great Italian food and full-page headlines (ESPECIALLY the last three parts). Returning to the alien ship upon the end of his first flight, Garfield notices that, though the bear himself was reduced to dust, his uniform still remains. After using his newfound super-strength and flying power to stash the ship deep within a VERY thick forest about twenty miles northeast of his house, Garfield then takes the uniform and tests the fabric, finding it to be VERY strong material indeed.  
  
Employing his new laser vision as scissors to cut out scraps of the deceased space-police-bear's uniform, Garfield creates a costume for himself consisting of a white sweater, a navy blue cape and a bright red Zorro-style mask (he originally thought about adding a double-breasted jacket and oversized fedora to the ensemble, but decides against it because he figures he's going to get enough hassles from DC Comics's lawyers [seeing how he has the SIlver Age Green Lantern's origin and Superman's powers] without Disney getting into the act over him using Darkwing Duck's costume design, too). With that, Garfield decides to reawaken his once-imaginary super-hero alter-ego of the Caped Avenger; this time for real. Already suspecting that his first major battle; the one that will land him on the front page of every major paper in city; is coming up very soon (after all, the unknown criminal mastermind behind his benefactor's demise IS still on the loose and presumably very close to Earth), the mighty Caped Avenger begins obsessively scouring the city and watching the skies for his as yet unknown extra-terrestrial nemesis and any other signs of wrong-doing.  
***********************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Meanwhile, within an ominous-looking spacecraft out just past the planet Pluto, three space-creatures greatly resembling eight-foot, indigo-skinned, two-headed rats are getting chewed out by their shadowy master; a being greatly resembling a nine-foot, dark-red-skinned, six-armed skunk. "You miserable morons!" the evil mastermind shouts before adding "I sent you to steal one lousy recently-invented power-device that could allow us to become almost unstoppable and you three come back empty-handed. Why, I may ask? Because some crummy law enforcement officer caught up with you three shortly after you left Catnipton. Why did he catch up with you, I might inquire? Because you three crashed the getaway rocket into an asteroid while he was chasing you three for speeding. I had to kill that blasted cop to cover my tracks. We know for a fact that his ship crash-landed on a planet the locals call Earth and we should be able to very easily track down that ship and retrieve the super-power-machine he confiscated off you three. Once we get that machine, the entire universe will feel the awesome might of Lord Stinkipottso." as the villain's henchmen steer their ship rapidly toward Earth.  
***********************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Meanwhile, the Caped Avenger's obsessive pursuit of headline-grabbing wrong-doing leads him to come across four crooks trying to blow up a railroad bridge that happens to be the planned route of a train carrying $50, 000, 000 worth of solid gold. The flying feline flies down near the explosives and uses his laser vision to disconnect the explosives' wires. Immediately following this, he grabs the explosives themselves and flies them out to about 64, 000 feet in the air, where he covers the explosives with his own invulnerable body and detonates the bomb with his laser vision. After that, the Caped Avenger flies back toward the would-be thieves/saboteurs' double-armor-plated, triple-turbo-charged getaway vehicle, which all four criminals have already entered and which is already speeding off at its top speed of 200 miles per hour, a speed that the feline hero can effortlessly match. Very easily lifting the four-ton (not counting the half-ton that represents the combined weight of all four criminals) vehicle with one front paw, the Caped Avenger flies all four of the crooks toward the police station at 600 miles per hour and deposits said vehicle on the ground after blowing all four tires with his laser vision. With a stern glare, the Caped Avenger spooks all four criminals into running into the police station shouting "We give up! We confess! We just tried to blow up a railroad bridge in an effort to rob a train carrying $50, 000, 000 in gold! Just lock us up before that flying cat kills us! We're begging you!", pointing outside where the policemen see the Cpaed Avenger hovering ten feet in the air holding up the crooks' vehicle with one paw.  
  
As the police are booking the four would-be thieves/saboteurs, the Caped Avenger is already flying off in pursuit of the next felony to foil. Suddenly, the flying feline's hyper-sensitive nose picks up the smell of freshly baked, excellent-smelling lasagna and speeds off following the scent. Arriving at a four-star Italian restaurant, the Caped Avenger spots three armed gangsters robbing the place. One robber had a .45 caliber ozi pointed at the cashier while the other two, also armed with .45 caliber ozis are relieving the diners of their purses and wallets. Though the Caped Avenger KNOWS the bullets aren't any danger to HIM, he's afraid that the ricocheting bullets would nail innocent bystanders and he knows causing the deaths of innocents WOULDN'T do much for his super-heroic image. Using his hyper-reflexes and laser vision, the Caped Avenger manages to melt all three ozis into harmless puddles before any of the robbers even manage to get off one shot. After that, the feline hero flies in, lifts up the first robber with one front paw and uses the other front paw to punch him hard enough to send him flying hard enough into the other two to make sure all three of them are out for the count. With the robbers dealt with, the Caped Avenger flies into the kitchen, pulls the large, fresh lasagna out of the oven and hurriedly gulps it down (the fresh-from-the-oven lasagna was piping hot, but that was no problem with the Caped Avenger's invulnerability) before flying off again.  
  
As the flying feline continues his vigil, he suddenly spots a menacing-looking spacecraft speeding over the city heading in the very direction of the place the Caped Avenger stashed his late benefactor's ship. Taking off at his top speed of 2, 000, 000 miles per minute, the Caped Avenger relentlessly pursues the speeding spacecraft.  
*************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Quickly, the hero overtakes the craft and starts pushing against it with all of his super-strength, eventually stopping it five miles short of its planned destination and then, in spite of the ship's engines still pushing forward at full power, is able to push it backwards at a rate of 8000 miles per hour. Lord Stinkipottso replies "So, it woud seem that one of the Earthlings discovered the secret of that machine that space cop confiscated off of you three. Since THAT is the case, this Earthling must be eliminated in order for us to be able to conquer the universe unmolested." as the space villain presses a button which causes three high-powered energy cannons to appear in the ship's front. Before the feline hero has a chance to dodge the blasts, he is struck hard by the multiple beams, which causes him to fall hard to the ground, though not before he was able to push back the ship a good 30 miles.   
  
Emerging from the ground (albeit with a VERY pained look on his face), the Caped Avenger flies back up to the craft and takes out the energy cannons with his laser-vision. Lord Stinkipottso cackles "That machine has more power than I thought. Not only did it give that Earth cat the invulnerability to survive our energy cannons, it also gave him eyebeams powerful enough to DESTROY our energy cannons. With that in mind, we'll need to decoy him long enough for us to get the super-power-machine and use it on ourselves." as he presses a button that drops a small round package that instantly expands into a 600-foot robot scorpion which quickly stirs up a huge panic in the city streets.  
***************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Deciding that it would be better for his image to choose saving innocent bystanders over capturing criminals, the Caped Avenger flies after the giant robot scorpion with a "This will be my toughest battle yet, but the more formidable the opponents I defeat and the more lives I save, the more glory I get." attitude as he swiftly flies down between the giant robot scorpion and sixteen innocent people who are too terrified to even move. Without a split-second's hesitation, the feline hero grabs the shirt collars of three people with each paw and the shirt collars of the other four with his teeth, flying all sixteen civilians to safety before heading back to face the mechanical monster, Arriving just in time to see the 600-foot robo-scorpion about to fire an energy bolt from his stinger at a bus with 50 people on board.   
  
Moving at full flying speed and using his vast physical strength, the Caped Avenger manages to easily push the bus out of the path of the blast JUST before he, himself, is hit, and hit HARD, by said blast. The robo-scorpion then brings his massive metallic stinger down fast and hard on the dazed feline hero. Though badly battered, the Caped Avenger refuses to give up, however, flying out of the 80 feet crevice created by the impact of the giant robot scorpion's stinger at nerve-racking speed as he grabs the mechanical giant by the tail and, taking an extra-deep breath and, using every ounce of his super-strength and every bit of his flying speed, manages to lift the mammoth mechanized monster off the ground with him, flying the creature far out into deep space while simultaneously using his laser vision at full power to slowly eat through the giant robot's alloy and destroy it. Just as the super-powered feline hero figures, it takes a grand total of two minutes for his laser vision at full power to eat completely through the robot's hull and cause said robot to explode with a force that knocks the feline hero unconscious and sends him flying back to Earth at an uncontrollable speed.   
***************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Twenty seconds later, the very-badly-battered-but-stil-triumphant Caped Avenger regains consciousness and finds himself heading toward to Earth at five times his normal flying speed. Employing his "air-brakes", the super-powered feline manages to come to a complete stop within the confines of the Earth's atomsphere. After taking a few seconds to catch his breathe, the hero silently thanks the fact that his costume's super-strong fabric, combined with his invulnerability, proved to be JUST BARELY enough to allow him to survive that blast in deep space. After flying around the world to regain his bearings, The Caped Avenger then flies out to the spot he stashed his murdered benefactor's star-craft and finds, to his pleasant surprise, that his extra-terrestrial adversaries are still there. Lord Stinkipottso grumbles "I can't believe that machine's power source was shut down in a triple-encrypted manner AND my gang all collasped before we could carry the machine back to our ship. No matter, though, for my ship is close enough for me to drag this machine to it on my own.".  
  
Though the Caped Avenger doesn't understand a word Lord Stinkipottso said (he doesn't have the sci-fi-author's universal translator), he still understands enough of the space villain's movements to know he is trying to steal the super-power-machine. Without wasting a second, the super-powered feline swoops down and grabs the machine out of his foe's grasp. Furious, the large space-skunk presses a remote control button that opens a compartment on his ship that reveals a twenty-foot-tall suit of space-exo-armor, which Lord Stinkipottso hurriedly climbs into and moves out of the ship's compartment. After this, the evil space-skunk presses a button that expands the exo-suit to twenty times its previous size (the only reason he didn't use the exo-armor to carry the super-power machine to his ship is because, even at its smallest size, it is too big to fit through the main entry way of either ship).  
****************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
After burying the super-power-machine in a place where it will safe until he decides to give the device to the proper space authorites, the Caped Avenger flies out to confront Lord Stinkipottso. With a mere thought, the villainous space-skunk activates his armor's force field. The Caped Avenger flies at the villain at full speed with all of his super-strength behind the charge AND combined with a full-power blast of laser vision. However, the force field of Stinkipottso's armor is powerful enough to repel even THIS all-out assault. While the Caped Avenger is trying to recover his wits and shake off his injuries, the evil alien skunk grabs the feline hero and starts to squeeze harder and harder.   
  
Feeling his bones cracking by the split-second, the Caped Avenger starts to twist his hips in a manner that allows him to spin the giant exo-armor faster and faster as he flies higher and higher, lifting the exo-armor as he does the latter. Eventually, the centrifugal force proves to be enough to cause Stinkipottso to let go JUST BEFORE the feline hero would have blacked out. Stinkipottso very quickly activates his exo-armor's hyper-jets and takes off in pursuit of the super-powered feline.   
  
Thinking fast, the Caped Avenger takes another very deep breath and flies out into space with the evil alien skunk in hot pursuit. After flying around the world four times, the Caped Avenger then drives to the bottom of the deepest trench of the world's deepest ocean, praying that the ocean's pressure, combined with an all-out attack from him might prove enough to get through that force field. To make a long story short, the Caped Avenger's plan worked, but it is a VERY close call. Entering the hole in the exo-armor's hull, the super-powered feline hero punches Lord Stinkipottso's lights out and then flies back out to carry the giant armor suit back out to the surface just before the waters of the ocean's crushing depths can reach the unconscious villain's body.  
*****************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Flying his defeated foe through the air, the Caped Avenger spots another spacecraft and receives a telepathic summons from inside the ship. It turns out that the summons comes from a seven-foot medium-blue-skinned bulldog who happens to be a space cop who was summoned to Earth by a powerful transmitter signal. Since this telepathy provides a link that reveals the full truth about both the Caped Avenger and the cop using the telepathy, the space-bulldog already knows where the feline hero buried the stolen and recovered super-power-machine. After Lord Stinkipottso and his space-henchrats are placed in the ship's holding cells, the super-power-machine is placed in the ship's evidence room and the Caped Avenger is exposed to the rays of a powerful healing orb the space cop managed to recover before receiving the summons, the space-police-bulldog takes off back toward his squad's headquarters.  
  
The feline hero watches the skies in wonder until Odie steps out of a nearby set of bushes and explains via telepathy that he used his newly increased intelligence to first deactivate the alien ship's power, then change and triple-encrypt the REactivation code and getting the ship's badly damaged back in working order. Odie also reveals that he used his newfound telepathy to subdue Lord Stinkipottso's henchrats, but the villainous space skunk himself simply had too strong a will for the trick to work on HIM.  
  
Pleasantly suprised that Odie's intellect was increased THAT much by the residual energy left over in the space-police-bear's ashes (after all, now that Odie is a lot smarter than he used to be, Garfield [the Caped Avenger] no longer has to dumb down his conversation level), the Caped Avenger picks up his canine friend and flies them both home.  
******************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
After returning home, the Caped Avenger slips out of his costume and thinks about the glory he's going to get off that battle with Lord Stinkipottso. As the exhausted feline hero climbs into his bed (hey, the healing orb only healed his injuries; it DIDN'T replenish his energy), his owner, Jon Arbuckle walks in the room just as Garfield falls asleep. Jon turns on the television and suddenly hears a television news reporter talk rather favorably about the Caped Avenger's heroic exploits on the news. Jon sees that the Caped Avenger bears an uncanny resemblance to Garfield, Jon looks at his sleeping cat and says to himself "Nah! Couldn't be. Garfield would NEVER work that hard.".  
  
Though half-asleep, Garfield still overhears what is said about him on the news AND what Jon says under his breath. To this, Garfield chuckles in a manner that sounds like a snore and returns to sleep.  
  
The End  
*******************************************************************************************************************************************  
Note: Except for Lord Stinkipottso, everybody named in this story is copyrighted by other parties, so I naturally have absolutely NO profit motive off this story. 


End file.
